Luciano Gonçalves, president of the Arbitration Council of the Portuguese Football Federation — Photo: Miguel Nunes Luciano Gonçalves, president of the Arbitration Council of the Portuguese Football Federation — Photo: Miguel Nunes If a child decides not to listen to his father or if a student understands that he has no business listening to the teacher's explanations, does it make sense for the father and teacher to remain silent because the child or student is not prepared to listen to the explanations? I'm Jorge Pessoa e Silva and this is the weekly column in A BOLA. I remember well the moment I started to like Duarte Gomes, former referee and current technical director of arbitration at the FPF. He won't remember what I'm going to tell him, nor will he mind me saying it... A few years ago, after a game in the Algarve, which I covered for A BOLA, I happened to run into him in the restaurant we both chose for dinner. The game was marked by a penalty awarded in favor of one of the greats and which raised many doubts, at a time when VAR was just a mirage. Duarte Gomes entered and stopped to greet fellow workers he recognized. And when asked about the controversy, he didn't hide. «On the pitch it seemed clear to me, even due to the movement of the players and the type of fall. I saw the images at the end and it didn't seem so clear anymore. I admit that I may have made a mistake", said Duarte Gomes, naturally, but embarrassed. It was clear that the decision was taking away his peace of mind. And I was convinced that day, by the way he spoke and his body language, that Duarte Gomes was a serious, competent and human referee. And I also reinforced a life lesson: admitting mistakes humanizes us. If done correctly, aggressiveness drops. I do not understand the position of Luciano Gonçalves, president of the Arbitration Council, who in a recent interview with A BOLA announced the withdrawal of the decision to hold public clarification sessions on concrete arbitration decisions and participation in television programs. The reason? «People are not prepared». I understand that there are always those who do not want to be clarified, or even want to use clarifications with a ricochet effect... So what about the others? The many who want to be enlightened, want to understand, want the explanation instead of the scream? Accuse me of being naive, but I am one of those who believe that it should be the referees themselves who speak about their decisions, especially when they make mistakes. There are so many good examples all over the world: for every apology and explanation for a decision made by a referee, there is more applause and understanding than criticism and misunderstanding. I even speak by my example. From time to time I receive insulting emails. Few, fortunately. The record was for things I said in a single program on A BOLA TV, at the end of which one viewer called me a “fucking lamp…”, another a “corrupt like FC Porto”, a third being “a lark of the worst kind”. I don't like it, because I'm the son of good people - I really am, believe me - but a clear conscience gives me peace when my blood boils. I respond to everyone. I apologize when I make a mistake, I explain my point of view and the aggressiveness drops by 90 percent. In most cases, the matter is resolved after a few email exchanges. In either case, I'm not saying I became friends, but I gained someone with whom I still exchange opinions today. I like that. The feeling that, by talking, explaining the reason for my choices, apologizing for the times I make mistakes, aggression gives way to conversation and this to understanding. Do you know when I stopped criticizing referees? When I refereed my first game. And last.